Thu
Dec
8
“ The Little Drummer Boy.” So you go to all the trouble of going out and getting a gift — frankincense, whatever. You’ve done your shopping. You’ve put in the time. And then you get to the baby shower, and you present your gift, and everybody is really impressed and everything. And then this kid shows up, and he’s like, “Weeeeell, I didn’t get a gift, but maybe I could bang on this drum.” And everybody’s like, “Ohhhhh, that’s wonderful,” and first of all, you have to listen to all this drumming, and second of all, it’s like you might as well have just saved the frankincense for your aunt, like, sorry, I didn’t know we were doing a talent show.
(via likepolishingfirewood)
Tue
Aug
9
“ Also, an anarchist said this is England’s version of the tea party…which WTF? I don’t agree with nearly anything the tea party stands for and I think they’re raging hypocrites but I haven’t seen Michelle Bachmann looting a Piggly Wiggly.
hahahahahahaha
Jason Who? on rioting in England.
(via likepolishingfirewood)
Tue
Jan
25
likepolishingfirewood:
orgasmic.
Beauty and the beast was my favorite Disney movie as a kid, mostly because I couldn’t imagine a more incredible gift from a lover than a library… And the incredible dancing food number. If only the beast turned into a dark-featured latino instead of a long-haired blond… sigh.
Thu
Oct
7
“ To Europe it is!!! So we can be chalant and whelmed. It’s our calling. Call court. Venice in T-24 hours
the other MG (obvi)
Thu
Jul
29
“ I don’t know anything about pop culture… Unless it’s high-brow.
Jason… Of course
Tue
Jun
15
“ How did we drink this much and don’t get to have brunch in the morning? Life is so unfair.
Wed
May
12
“ last night i ate a burrito and drank beer in a king size bed alone
i hope that doesn’t happen too often in my ife
life
i would much rather be having sex in a king size bed than eating a burrito
you can quote me on that (anonymously)
Thu
Apr
1
“ You look like a girl I’d stare at on the subway for the entire ride.
Fri
Feb
5
So true. I called my mom after I read this.
likepolishingfirewood:
I was just talking to my mother on the phone and she mentioned (in the same conversation) having spoken with 3 out of 4 of my siblings. I was somewhat startled and asked her if she spoke to all of her children every day. She said, “Well, no. Just you, Matthew, and Donald. Unless one of your brothers has done something bad and is hiding from me.” That means she speaks to 3 out of her 5 children. Every. Day. And the most disturbing part is that I’m sure WE all call HER, not the other way around. I talk to my mom at least twice a day, but usually more like three times. I can’t imagine why she answers the phone. I’m sure with my own children I would be like GET A LIFE AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. Of course, I won’t be having my own children, so I guess we’ll never know. It’s becoming clear to me that we children suffer from some bizarre variant of Stockholm Syndrome. We can’t let go of our (let’s face it) slight obsession, even though, like all mothers, she is crazy and erratic.
Thu
Jan
21
themadnessofwaiting:
likepolishingfirewood:
Wealthy politicians with federal health insurance don’t get to drag their heels on health care reform under the guise of taking measured steps and then wonder what the rush is. The newly elected Senator Scott Brown (R- Mass: and this is me judging you, Massachusetts) concluded an interview with Time Magazine this week by expressing bafflement that Democrats are so impatient to pass DECADES-ANTICIPATED HEALTH REFORM. “What’s the hurry? I mean, really, if we are going to do something, let’s do it right.” Well Senator, I’m so very pleased that you have health insurance and can afford to wait all the time in the world to address the medical concerns of millions of Americans, but there are actually a lot of people who don’t have that luxury. I agree that an initiative of this magnitude must be planned and implemented with great thought and care, but apparently certain folk have forgotten that people are actually suffering and often dying while Congress tinkers away. That’s the hurry, dipshit.
